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| Infographic by Sarah Tolzmann based on Swiss Miss talks at Alt NY |
Dear Nathaniel, I am microwaving pie that Mom bought up in Oak Glen this week on her way home from the orthodontist. As I put it in the microwave, I was full of sadness that I was not in Oak Glen with her. Why did I not go? I was working. I want to see the trees turn. I want to wander slowly through autumnal gift shops. Under the water, you cannot sense the approach of the seasons. Even here it is difficult because, after all, it's California. But I can still sense it. After three seasons in Illinois and one in Scotland, it must be with me for good. Or at least for a while. Because I am all abuzz with eagerness for fall and winter, for turkeys and dried leaves and Santa. I should start cooking again this fall. Fall foods are my favorite. Baked squash dripping with melted butter and brown sugar, pumpkin soup... this year, if I have enough money, I will put together a holiday dinner for my friends. And we will drink Scandinavian mulled wine, which is the most wonderful thing I have e...

It took a long time for me to discover how important it is to "stay away from the people who like to dislike things." Sondheim talks a bit about that in the second volume of his collected lyrics, really making the point that he does require of people that they keep their opinions to themselves at some points (opening night, for instance) or they just can't be his friends anymore as it hurts his process too much. It was hard jettisoning people from my life that saw themselves as professional truthtellers, the first ones to always say that the phone you got isn't as good as some other brand or why you're wrong for liking this book or that movie. But, I'm certainly a happier writer for it.
ReplyDeleteI learned pretty early on to be clear with friends and family that when I ask for their opinion about creative work, I am looking for their praise. We should seek critical perspectives from professional sources - from those we're close to, we should often only ask for encouragement.
ReplyDeleteAmen to both of you, and that response. What a great story about Sondheim--it feels like it gives me permission to only ask for certain kinds of feedback. I don't know how many times I've given a story to a friend or family member, and only after they give me all sorts of criticism do I ask: "how much short fiction do you read?"
ReplyDeleteThe answer, invariably: none.
The point being that we need to choose our audience as well as our creative companions, I suppose.